Amen.

I was on my facebook just now and I decided to look through my albums. I couldn't remember what pictures I have posted. I came to the image of my ultrasound from my last pregnancy. I looked at the date of when I posted it.... April 28, 2010. Wierd... exactly one year since I announced Ron and I expecting. It was a bittersweet feeling. Sweet in the sense that I know that child is in heaven, sweet that I made it a year and have been able to inspire and help other women along the way. Bitter in the sense that a part of my heart still experiences an emptiness. Bitter in the sense that the past year has been difficult in trying to figure out my body. Our heavenly father is amazing. Tonight as I was looking at my dashboard (on blogger not in my car) I wanted to see who my "followers" were on this particular blog. As I looked thru the list I clicked around and looked into some of the blogs that you follow. One blog stuck out to me and I have been sitting here for a little bit reading about this family. I'm not going to go into detail you can read about it here. But in 2009 at 31 weeks pregnant she delivered a beautiful baby girl. Maggie. 2 days later Maggie went home to Jesus. I then read her blog post 2 years later on Maggies birthday. There was a particular sentence she wrote that touched me so greatly. "Once again, we found ourselves in desperate need of our Father, the One who holds our hearts just as tenderly now as he did the day we cried out in our despair and our questioning.  I long to hold our daughter in my arms again . . . in the presence of our Savior when I am finally home."  This sentence though full of sadness, still gave me the perspective I needed tonight. I need to turn to my father, I need to seek him. It gave me chills as I closed my eyes and envisioned all the mamas and daddys embracing their children. The children they never met, the children who the held lifeless in their arms, the children that died sooner than we wanted. It was a beautiful vision. I am so excited for the time that I can hold my 3 babies in my arms. And as she said... in the presence of my Savior!

AMEN!!!