It's all about the funk.

Today, I am frustrated, angry, sad and a bit depressed. I am trying to be positive and strong, but I just can't do it. It actually started last night before bed. I started feeling crampy from the D&C. I had been bugging my husband for the last week to play Yahtzee with me. So last night he grabbed the Yahtzee game and we set up camp on the couch. Well, I lost. All three games. And I will admit that I am a bit of a poor sport when it comes to losing over and over again. I was bummed, I was still cramping and so I became bummed about the miscarriage. I wanted to pack a bag, get in my car and drive. I didnt care where I ended up, but I just wanted to drive away from what I was feeling. I didn't get dressed at all yesterday. I showered, but just threw my comfies back on. So I think it hit me a bit hard this morning when I showered and went to get dressed and I had to sort through the maternity clothes I had folded in my closet. I just cried and I let myself cry hard. My husband was cleaning the house because I hadn't done a single chore the day before. I know he was being super sweet but I felt like I was in the way in every room, and that he was upset that I didn't clean the house. (I know that is not what he was feeling I am just overly sensitive today) So I curled up on my bed in my favorite soft blanket with my heating pad and feel asleep with my son watching cartoons. I don't know how long I slept. Maybe 15 minutes. But I felt so much better after waking up. I came out to the Living room and made us some lunch. Visited with my husband and debated on what to write on this blog. I felt like I needed to be positve and encouraging that everything is okay and blah blah blah. But in all reality I am not in a super positve mood, and I feel that it is okay to feel that way today. And I know that if you are reading this than you have or are experiencing the same thing I am. So it's nice to know that we are not alone.
I will end this post not encouraging you to keep your head up and be strong. But instead. Throw on your favorite sweatshirt, wrap yourself in your favorite blankie and watch TV. Be in a little funk today. But do remember that Jesus loves us and he won't give us anything he knows we can't handle. :-) (sorry! I had to throw a bit of Jesus in there!) ** Correction-thanks to my friend Krystle and I do agree with her! ;-) "God won't give you more than you can handle..." that is nowhere in the Bible. He will give you strength and grace...but that other saying is something people say to make you feel better....but it doesn't.

What you will find is the verse 1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.


Praying for you,
Lacie